On the floor of my kitchen, back against my fridge. This is the place where my grief often meets me. It’s the place I found myself when my house was empty for the first time after my husband’s death. It’s the place where I found myself just about every morning for the weeks that followed. … More The Place Where Grief Meets Me
The day of my shipwreck? I mean, talk about semantics. What do you consider the actual day of the shipwreck? Is it just the day that the leak started, that the ship begins to go under? Or is it the day that the entire ship goes down? The day of complete and total submersion? The … More Shipwrecked
The flowers were attracting flies. I wish I could give a great, heartfelt beginning to this story. I wish I had some spiritual nudge, some inclination that someone needed these flowers in that very moment. But where this story starts is… I had a lot of really beautiful flowers in my house, and they were … More The Giver of Free Flowers
Jesus wept. It is the shortest verse in the Bible, and for some reason, when we’re kids, that’s the detail that we focus on. It seems so cool, that there is a two-worded sentence in the Bible. It becomes a main question in our Sunday School trivia games. What is the shortest verse in the … More Jesus Wept Too
I never asked for ten steps before I took my free kick. I never waited for the full ten steps when the ref granted it to me without my asking. High school soccer…. It was another lifetime ago. The pre-wrap headbands, the electric tape to hold my shin guards in place, the maddest and happiest … More Still Kicking
“Here comes the sun,” the long-haired tattoo artist said right before the roar of the machine cut on. I cringed at how impersonal it all was, at how thoughtlessly he threw out words that had come to mean so much to me. I wanted to hit him. If it wasn’t for the sting of my … More Anger 5: I’ll Follow The Sun
My tulips sprouted this week. This shouldn’t be that significant… I mean, it’s March, most tulips sprout in March. But my heart sank a little when I pulled into my driveway, and I saw the little green stocks peeking out of the ground. Andrew’s dad and sister planted these tulip bulbs for us last fall. … More Anger 4: Tulips and Resolution
Today, I placed a single white rose on Kurt Vonnegut’s grave. Well… kind of. Today I went on a wild goose chase for Kurt Vonnegut’s grave, ultimately learned that his final resting place is unknown to anyone, and instead left a rose on his father’s grave, but I mean, it was the same name, so … More Contradictions
It’s crowded, overwhelming. People are everywhere. Some look at me, some don’t. I look at both no one and everyone at the same time. This isn’t my thing. Crowds, heels, dresses, sobriety. Where’s the bar? How far can it be? How long does it take to get a drink? Just one drink? Or I guess … More Home
“What happened to seven-year-old me when I turned eight?” Yeah, try fielding that one from your child. I’m telling you, my parents were saints for the weird conversations they had to deal with. “What do you mean?” my mom asked, looking toward my dad. He just shrugged. “Where did she go?” I asked. “She’s right … More 2021 Me
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