There is a drawer on the far-right side of my entryway table that I do not touch. This is ironic because before Andrew died, I resorted to the drawer religiously. Every hour, I rushed to it in hopes of finding something, anything, that might put out whatever fire we were currently staring into. This drawer … More You Win
Grief is dreaming. It is me watching, working, manufacturing the process of making all of your dreams come true, even if you’re not here to see it. Grief is the fear of the bittersweet ache sure to appear on the day that I start pursuing my own dreams again. Yours are easier. Yours keep you … More Grief
Words fail me. They never use to. Words were always my friend. They had my back. Even when sometimes they were a bit unrefined, impulsive, sharp- they were there. Over the past few weeks words have been hit or miss with me. Sometimes my mind is loud, the words are clear. But some days they … More Well Done
“And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer: Let it be.” In a world of division, so many are seeking that “thing.” That thing that crosses over strong barriers. That thing that can sew together even the most divided of adversaries. That thing that all can relate to, … More Pain, The Beatles, and a Love Note to My Readers
I flung myself off of the mountain months ago. Maybe I didn’t fling, maybe I was pushed, maybe I tripped. I don’t exactly know how I ended up in a free fall, but I know that about a year ago, I ended up free falling, and not in the cute Tom Petty kind of way. … More Rocky Rocky Rock Bottom
My 65-year-old neighbor puts my trashcan out on the street for me every Friday morning. It’s the smallest gesture, but it means the absolute world to me. My next-door neighbors are originally from Nigeria. Earlier this year, they learned that my husband had stage four cancer, and the wife of the pair rushed out one … More First World Probs.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the one about Elijah giving the prophets of Baal hell. Doesn’t sound familiar? Probably because this isn’t really the take away that most people get out of this story, and it is certainly never the Sunday School lesson theme. You may know it better by the … More Sometimes Faith Shakes
I broke up with Stephen King about three years ago. We had a solid go of it for a while- I’d read his books, he’d scare me half to death, and then a few months later I’d forgive him and we’d pick up where we left off- the next book. We would then do the … More You Are What You Read
On my right foot, near the knuckle by my big toe, my skin forms a little bubble. It happened during the summer following my first grade year. I was playing basketball with my brother and his friends, the older guys in the neighborhood. As I drove to the hoop for a layup, I scraped my … More Scars by Andrew Luetkehans
I believe my husband will be healed. I don’t mean that in the church goer’s weak interpretation of healing, which is actually dying. I believe that his body that was so forcefully intruded upon, these lungs that are pushing against the pressure of these disgusting trespassers of tumors for every breath, will be restored. I … More The Christian Scapegoat
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