“I heard this Dolly song the other day…” I have this reoccurring dream where I see my dad. It’s a different setting each time. Once it was in my childhood kitchen, once it was at the grocery store, once it was in this wooded area which might have been my mind’s very lose interpretation of … More A Life of Many Colors
“Here comes the sun,” the long-haired tattoo artist said right before the roar of the machine cut on. I cringed at how impersonal it all was, at how thoughtlessly he threw out words that had come to mean so much to me. I wanted to hit him. If it wasn’t for the sting of my … More Anger 5: I’ll Follow The Sun
My tulips sprouted this week. This shouldn’t be that significant… I mean, it’s March, most tulips sprout in March. But my heart sank a little when I pulled into my driveway, and I saw the little green stocks peeking out of the ground. Andrew’s dad and sister planted these tulip bulbs for us last fall. … More Anger 4: Tulips and Resolution
Just a moment. We are all just one moment—good or bad—away from our whole life shifting course—good or bad. I think about this a lot when people look at me with those sad eyes. I think about how close I was to being shattered at a time when I didn’t even know it. Just a … More Anger 3: The Moments in Our Story
Job… in case you were wondering. In case last week when I said, “No one ever sends you to Isaiah in the midst of tragedy,” you asked, “Well, then where do they send you?” In my experience, the answer is Job. I think this is an appropriate response, really. I don’t think Job is a … More Anger 2: Not That Job-y
Today, I placed a single white rose on Kurt Vonnegut’s grave. Well… kind of. Today I went on a wild goose chase for Kurt Vonnegut’s grave, ultimately learned that his final resting place is unknown to anyone, and instead left a rose on his father’s grave, but I mean, it was the same name, so … More Contradictions
My love language is car rides. Got an errand to run? Take me with you. Forgot one thing at the grocery store and need someone to be a warm body in the front seat so that you don’t have to actually park the car? I’m right there. Have some random Facebook Marketplace item to pick … More Car Rides
Hello, bartender. I have a very important request for you. I’m going to need you to listen very carefully. It seems that I currently have two tabs open. I don’t really know how that happened, but we’re going to need to fix it because both of them are getting really expensive, but only one is … More Age 26 in a Very Nonlinear life
I, like many, have picked up plenty of skills and factoids in my twenty-six years on this earth, but there is one thing that I, without a doubt, am proudest of. I learned at a very young age, about three or four, exactly where to lay my head on my daddy’s belly to guarantee that … More My First Love
There is a drawer on the far-right side of my entryway table that I do not touch. This is ironic because before Andrew died, I resorted to the drawer religiously. Every hour, I rushed to it in hopes of finding something, anything, that might put out whatever fire we were currently staring into. This drawer … More You Win
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