I had just finished the book of Isaiah on the day that my husband died. This fact alone does not seem significant. I didn’t plan it. I wasn’t on any type of reading schedule. I was just reading the Old Testament in order at whatever hour of the day I had the energy to do … More Anger 1: Rage…Shattered…Saved…
“It’s almost time for you to leave the nest,” he nearly shouts at me over the sound of the music. I imagine that every other father and daughter dancing around us are having their own version of this same cheesy conversation. The coral-colored skirt of my dress ripples as I pull away just enough … More Eagle
Today, I placed a single white rose on Kurt Vonnegut’s grave. Well… kind of. Today I went on a wild goose chase for Kurt Vonnegut’s grave, ultimately learned that his final resting place is unknown to anyone, and instead left a rose on his father’s grave, but I mean, it was the same name, so … More Contradictions
It’s crowded, overwhelming. People are everywhere. Some look at me, some don’t. I look at both no one and everyone at the same time. This isn’t my thing. Crowds, heels, dresses, sobriety. Where’s the bar? How far can it be? How long does it take to get a drink? Just one drink? Or I guess … More Home
“What happened to seven-year-old me when I turned eight?” Yeah, try fielding that one from your child. I’m telling you, my parents were saints for the weird conversations they had to deal with. “What do you mean?” my mom asked, looking toward my dad. He just shrugged. “Where did she go?” I asked. “She’s right … More 2021 Me
Hello, bartender. I have a very important request for you. I’m going to need you to listen very carefully. It seems that I currently have two tabs open. I don’t really know how that happened, but we’re going to need to fix it because both of them are getting really expensive, but only one is … More Age 26 in a Very Nonlinear life
I, like many, have picked up plenty of skills and factoids in my twenty-six years on this earth, but there is one thing that I, without a doubt, am proudest of. I learned at a very young age, about three or four, exactly where to lay my head on my daddy’s belly to guarantee that … More My First Love
There is a drawer on the far-right side of my entryway table that I do not touch. This is ironic because before Andrew died, I resorted to the drawer religiously. Every hour, I rushed to it in hopes of finding something, anything, that might put out whatever fire we were currently staring into. This drawer … More You Win
Skip the turkey—load up on mashed potatoes. That’s my plan this year. That’s my plan because I don’t actually like turkey that much. That’s my plan because I do really like mashed potatoes. That’s my plan because my late husband felt the same way, and he always wanted to skip on the turkey and load … More My Holiday Wills and Wont’s
“Am I a sociopath?” Yup, that’s right. That line, verbatim, can be found in my very own Google search history. I searched that last week. I searched it, because I am in the midst of grief, the thick of it, freshly widowed, brand spanking new to life on my own, still seeking fervently for an … More Fine Thanks, Just Widowing
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