You Win

There is a drawer on the far-right side of my entryway table that I do not touch. This is ironic because before Andrew died, I resorted to the drawer religiously. Every hour, I rushed to it in hopes of finding something, anything, that might put out whatever fire we were currently staring into. This drawer … More You Win

Well Done

Words fail me. They never use to. Words were always my friend. They had my back. Even when sometimes they were a bit unrefined, impulsive, sharp- they were there. Over the past few weeks words have been hit or miss with me. Sometimes my mind is loud, the words are clear. But some days they … More Well Done

Pain, The Beatles, and a Love Note to My Readers

“And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer: Let it be.” In a world of division, so many are seeking that “thing.” That thing that crosses over strong barriers. That thing that can sew together even the most divided of adversaries. That thing that all can relate to, … More Pain, The Beatles, and a Love Note to My Readers

First World Probs.

My 65-year-old neighbor puts my trashcan out on the street for me every Friday morning. It’s the smallest gesture, but it means the absolute world to me. My next-door neighbors are originally from Nigeria. Earlier this year, they learned that my husband had stage four cancer, and the wife of the pair rushed out one … More First World Probs.

The Christian Scapegoat

I believe my husband will be healed. I don’t mean that in the church goer’s weak interpretation of healing, which is actually dying. I believe that his body that was so forcefully intruded upon, these lungs that are pushing against the pressure of these disgusting trespassers of tumors for every breath, will be restored. I … More The Christian Scapegoat

Unravel Me

26 years ago today, my husband and I were both forming in our mothers’ stomachs. I get it, no one needs the visual or the biology lesson, but hang with me here. I am 28 days older than Andrew. When I think about that, when I think about the fact that we were both being … More Unravel Me