On the floor of my kitchen, back against my fridge. This is the place where my grief often meets me. It’s the place I found myself when my house was empty for the first time after my husband’s death. It’s the place where I found myself just about every morning for the weeks that followed. … More The Place Where Grief Meets Me
“You take him, and I’ll go too.” I spoke these words out loud about a year and a half ago. I spoke them to my maker out of pain, defiance. I spoke them from a place of entitlement, a place of living a life where I could always achieve the things that I wanted to … More Anger 7: Why Have I Beaten This Dead Horse?
My tulips sprouted this week. This shouldn’t be that significant… I mean, it’s March, most tulips sprout in March. But my heart sank a little when I pulled into my driveway, and I saw the little green stocks peeking out of the ground. Andrew’s dad and sister planted these tulip bulbs for us last fall. … More Anger 4: Tulips and Resolution
Hello, bartender. I have a very important request for you. I’m going to need you to listen very carefully. It seems that I currently have two tabs open. I don’t really know how that happened, but we’re going to need to fix it because both of them are getting really expensive, but only one is … More Age 26 in a Very Nonlinear life
I, like many, have picked up plenty of skills and factoids in my twenty-six years on this earth, but there is one thing that I, without a doubt, am proudest of. I learned at a very young age, about three or four, exactly where to lay my head on my daddy’s belly to guarantee that … More My First Love
Skip the turkey—load up on mashed potatoes. That’s my plan this year. That’s my plan because I don’t actually like turkey that much. That’s my plan because I do really like mashed potatoes. That’s my plan because my late husband felt the same way, and he always wanted to skip on the turkey and load … More My Holiday Wills and Wont’s
“Am I a sociopath?” Yup, that’s right. That line, verbatim, can be found in my very own Google search history. I searched that last week. I searched it, because I am in the midst of grief, the thick of it, freshly widowed, brand spanking new to life on my own, still seeking fervently for an … More Fine Thanks, Just Widowing