I average about one significant celebratory moment a year. Now, do I celebrate the little seemingly non-significant celebratory moments? You bet, but in terms of my own big moments and milestones, I average about one a year. 2017- I graduated from college. 2018- I got married. 2019- We bought a house. 2020- I guess we … More Hey, Let’s Just Celebrate
Yesterday, Andrew and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. For those of you who didn’t marry a traditionalist like I did, the second wedding anniversary is the cotton anniversary. In addition to being a traditionalist, my husband is a sentimentalists. What this means is: I have a tub full of t-shirts in my basement that … More The Lucky Ones
On my right foot, near the knuckle by my big toe, my skin forms a little bubble. It happened during the summer following my first grade year. I was playing basketball with my brother and his friends, the older guys in the neighborhood. As I drove to the hoop for a layup, I scraped my … More Scars by Andrew Luetkehans
I believe my husband will be healed. I don’t mean that in the church goer’s weak interpretation of healing, which is actually dying. I believe that his body that was so forcefully intruded upon, these lungs that are pushing against the pressure of these disgusting trespassers of tumors for every breath, will be restored. I … More The Christian Scapegoat
I have recently begun to spend time in my own pain. This is not a natural thing for me. This is not a natural thing for most people, particularly those of my generation. We live in a world where distractions are around every corner. We live in a world where we can meticulously link together … More Me and These Emotions
Saturdays are for the boys. As I struggled to write the intro to this blog, my husband offered this opening sentence as his contribution. We both laughed it off, then I wrote it down at the top of my word document, and now here it is. The perfect intro. Because despite the joking nature of … More A Season of Saturday
People say we have a story to tell. One day, we sat down and wrote out the whole timeline of Andrew’s cancer. We wrote a month to month rendition of everything that has gone down from original diagnoses to the most recent prognosis. We spared no details because the details are ingrained in us. We … More How We Choose to Tell a Hard Story
“I am not cut out for this.” I cannot tell you how many times these words have been spoken over the past four years. The truth is, we’re not cut out for this. No one is. Malignant. Cancer. Metastasized. Ewing’s Sarcoma. What horrible words. Nobody is cut out for cancer. No one is cut out … More The Beauty of This Story
26 years ago today, my husband and I were both forming in our mothers’ stomachs. I get it, no one needs the visual or the biology lesson, but hang with me here. I am 28 days older than Andrew. When I think about that, when I think about the fact that we were both being … More Unravel Me
“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part.” Those lyrics just hit differently when you’re thirteen years old and someone tells you that the boy you were “talking to” was caught canoodling with your best friend behind the big white slide at the local water park… Needless to say, … More Dreaming With a Broken Heart
alyciatimm 